I have never considered a blog...but as I sat in my office at work today with so much on my mind, I realized that in the past, during the hardest times in my life, I wrote. I wrote and I wrote. And I always felt better. As I go through another tough spell I have been wondering what was missing, maybe it's this.
My son was born on 3/17/07, 7lbs 13oz, yep a St. Patty's Day baby born with a lot of lucky numbers as his stats. I truly gave birth to a little leprechaun. He is my second child. My daughter was 2 1/2 when he was born. She is witty, energetic, talkative, dramatic, smart as a pistol, and gorgeous. While during her terrible two's/three's I believed her to be "difficult" I look back now and want to SLAP myself. She threw fits, yes she did...but they ENDED. Her terrible times lasted 2 YEARS. She does have an occasional uproar every now and then, and it can be painful, but for the most part she is a joy to be around and a really easy kid.
Now, back to the boy. Many mothers have battle stories and we love to talk about them over coffee-well, let's be honest I discuss them over wine- and we compare our stories to our friends' stories. We laugh and feel good that we're not "the only ones." Well when I leave and go home and think about the story I shared that night, I always think to myself "Why did my story seem to stand out?" "Why are my friends always so shocked?" Three, almost four years later I know why...because my stories are shocking, and unbelievable.
I wanted to start this blog to make people laugh, but to also give other mothers a sense that they are not the only ones. We all have our challenges, whether they be daily, weekly, or occasionally. We also love our kids unconditionally. I have spent the last year asking "Why Me" and praying my son changes, but the truth is, I am not sure I want everything to change. I would like to teach him what behaviors are appropriate and how to get positive attention rather than negative...but his spark is amazing. I love who he is. I accept his behaviors and I cannot blame myself anymore.
Often times, we see our children as a reflection of ourselves, but they are who they are. It is our job to help them find that person and help them become great. If we spend all of our time trying to change them, all energy will be lost. I am no expert as I still break down almost everyday, but I do know A LOT about humility and what didn't work the first time. And I will always admit my mistakes only to celebrate LOUDLY when I am finally right!
that intro was very long...but I had to explain myself
DAY ONE- The New Pre School
He started a new Pre School today, the other one did everything they could, but it was just time to give them a break and make a change. He started there when he was just a baby and picked up some bad habits on the way (by no fault of his most recent teachers though). Last year we went to Hell and back with his behavior and he changed completely, positively. I was not ready to put them through this again. I do not want him spending his pre school years always in trouble. It was time for a change.
Let me rewind to just 6 days ago...
He got mad because he didn't want to nap so he decided to take his shoes off and throw them across the room. He took all of the toys off of the shelf and dumped them on the floor. He then began to get off of his mat refusing to lay down. The director went in to calm him down and eventally he went to sleep. When I picked him up his teacher told me that she had taken away the superhero costume he was wearing because of his behavior. He wanted to take it home. I told him we had to follow what his teacher said. He threw the fit of all fits so I had to carry him out the front door, wrestle him in his car seat and drive home. During the car ride he attempted to take his seat belt off, and attempted stripping most of the clothes he could manage off. He screamed all the way home and finally when we got home, I asked him to walk in on his own two feet. He refused. So I sat there staring at him in the garage. He took off all of his clothes and then started screaming because he was cold. I asked him to walk inside. He refused. Before I could blink he started PEEING on the garage floor. PEEING. I was in shock. I stared at him. Clinching my teeth I said very firmly..."GO UPSTAIRS NOWWWWWWW" He walked upstairs, crying butt naked.
I am hoping a praying this works out. T minus 2 YEARS to KINDERGARTEN...not much time! He started his day by asking me "Mommy am I going to be bad at my new school?" ... I said, "no you are going to be great and you are going to try" he said "I want to make good friends" I said, "That is a great idea!" It took me 5 minutes to get him in the car (He wanted to ride his bike, we had no time) and then when he was finally in the car he had to pee and I was SO not letting him pee in my car so I let him go. Then we were off...New School here we come! His new teacher, let's just call her Miss D, had just returned from a two week vacation...welcome back!!! My daughter had her for pre school as well, so I know her style. She is firm, but fun and loving. He had a nice morning, enjoyed play time and his new friends but then came nap time. He did his usual dramatic plea to get out of napping "I'M HOT" "I'M COLD" "I'M NOT TIRED" "I'M TIRED" "DON'T TOUCH ME" "RUB MY BACK PLEASE!!!!" So Miss D had to call in back up and eventually he went to sleep. When I came to pick him up, she looked exhausted, but we talked and we came up with a plan, so I hope it works.
We got home and he told his daddy he loves his new school and he likes his new friends...that's a start.
And tomorrow is another day, STAY TUNED...
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